‘You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as hard’
I had been in chatting to ‘Dave’ regarding his general wellbeing over the last year. As one of my best and oldest friends it was difficult to hear the struggles he’d been dealing with. I was also a bit upset that he hadn’t felt comfortable in talking to me earlier.
To understand our relationship and how we love each other, we have known each other near on 40 years. So nothing escapes our childlike minds and the ease of taking the mick out of anything even the darkest moments.
One line I’ve always used is ‘You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as hard’
I picked this up from one of the many sales seminars I have attended, but in today’s society I think it’s more prevalent than ever, cutting though the constant noise to get to the important stuff. For years I’ve used it as part of my sales technique until I was recently chatting to a psychologist and he uses the same line.
As Dave and I talked, the issue of work life balance kept cropping up. From the outside I thought his balance looked great. A family man with a welcoming house and decent cup of tea always available. Like me we both have our office in the garden, working from home, with interesting clients and a company that appreciates his efforts. Don’t forget the nice executive car on the driveway too with lots of miles on the clock.
Our characters are very similar and we both love meeting people or having an audience. We love making a sale and celebrating our success but as we age the driving 100’s miles a week was a major talking point. He could be in his car 6 hours just to meet a client for an hour and that’s without any incidents or stress. Something I can relate to.
Even driving defensively and with the best planning, the Sat Nav anxiety and calls from clients, whilst on route adds to the pressure of the journey. You never want to be late for a meeting especially a first one. So Dave would counter this by leaving really early to arrive on time and leave wiggle room.
He found that the alarm clock was going off earlier and earlier which meant less time at home and more stress on him and the family. He needs those sales or the potential to secure them at another meeting to provide the lifestyle and choices.
Family life is hard enough without work but due the nature and scale of his work paired with someone who genuinely cares, something had to give. Luckily for the family, Dave made the right decision to seek help before the ultimate wrong one.
When your best friend tells you the situation was so bad he was thinking of just driving off the road or jumping in front of a train because he didn’t want to wake up the next day and feel that way again.
My thoughts are this.
If the pandemic can encourage businesses and employers to evaluate how we conduct ourselves in the current health and economic climate there may be a chance everyone will benefit.
One hopes that this will reduce road rage, accidents, traffic jams, fuel prices, carbon footprint, driver stress, and many more things.
The main benefits would be increased wellbeing for employees who currently drive as part of their role and their families. I see the change in Dave whilst in lockdown, working remotely, less time on the road and back to having a laugh at my expense and our other two partners in crime during our weekly Sunday Zoom.
I run a car leasing business, so it might sound strange that I would want people to reduce their mileage or drive less but it has its benefits.
So as I recall our conversations and write this, tears rolling down my face, I chuckle because knowing Dave he’d choose a station that was at the end of a line but he would also have a full fare ticket.
My other thought was if crashing the car was his way to end everything, based on my advice he is driving one of the safest cars on the market……
Thanks, Pinky
Chris Pink
A version of this blog was first published on www.pinksauceleasing.co.uk
